A while ago I picked up Steve Harvey’s Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man at my girlfriend-at-the-time’s apartment. I wanted to skim through and see what kind of nonsense the book may have filled my girl’s head with. As it turns out, the book has plenty of good insight about how men think and feel, and why getting a good man isn’t as complicated as most women make it out to be. One idea that has stayed with me and that I’ve used to give girls advice ever since is that men basically treat women as one of two things: keepers and sports fish (I call them throwaways). These aren’t Steve’s exact words (I read it over a year ago), so I might have a slightly different take on it, but here it is…
Announces proudly that she’s getting drunk tonight as she throws back a shot of Patron. She’s a laid-back party girl who tells guys she’s not looking for anything serious; she’s just ready to go with the flow. She sets no conditions or restrictions on any suitors, with the possible exception of surface qualities such as appearance and whether or not he has bottle service at the club.1 Guys are drawn to her because she’s fun, but mostly because she’ll go along with whatever happens. She likes to play games, to flirt, and at times will dumb herself down if it means getting male attention. Men are lining up to catch her and throw her away.
Guys know from the beginning that if they want this girl, they better shape up and start meeting her requirements. No amount of game on the first meeting is going to guarantee you her phone number, much less anything physical, because her time is valuable and she doesn’t give it away easily. She commands respect and is more interested in intelligent conversation than playing games, though she knows how to have a good time. She knows what she wants in a man and isn’t afraid to communicate that from the start. If a guy isn’t ready to take things seriously, he can move it along. If he is, then he’s found himself a keeper.
So if you’re a woman wondering why you can’t hold onto a guy, or why guys only seem interested in sex, ask yourself if you’re acting like a keeper or a throwaway. If you’re acting like a throwaway, you can expect to be treated like one.
1 I’ve got mixed feelings on guys buying drinks for girls they meet at bars. In some cases I think it’s a smart move; in other cases I think it’s senseless. I’ll write about it soon.