Yes. = No.
No. = Yes.
Maybe. = No.
Sure… go ahead. = I’ll make you regret this.
Do what you want. = I’ll make you regret this.
It’s fine, really. = It’s absolutely not fine.
It’s your decision. = The correct decision should be obvious by now.
I’m sorry. = You’ll be sorry.
We need… = I want…
We need to talk. = I need to complain.
I’m not upset. = Of course I’m upset!
I’m not yelling! = I am yelling because I think this is important.
This kitchen is a bit cramped. = I want a new house.
I want new curtains. = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper…
I heard a noise. = I’m not ready for you to fall asleep yet.
Do you love me? = I’m going to ask for something expensive.
How much do you love me? = I did something you’re really not going to like.
Is my ass fat? = Tell me I’m beautiful.
You have to learn to communicate. = Just agree with me.
Was that the baby? = Go check on the baby, I’ll sleep some more.