Things women say (and what they really mean)

Yes. = No.

No. = Yes.

Maybe. = No.

Sure… go ahead. = I’ll make you regret this.

Do what you want. = I’ll make you regret this.

It’s fine, really. = It’s absolutely not fine.

It’s your decision. = The correct decision should be obvious by now.

I’m sorry. = You’ll be sorry.

We need… = I want…

We need to talk. = I need to complain.

I’m not upset. = Of course I’m upset!

I’m not yelling! = I am yelling because I think this is important.

This kitchen is a bit cramped. = I want a new house.

I want new curtains. = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper…

I heard a noise. = I’m not ready for you to fall asleep yet.

Do you love me? = I’m going to ask for something expensive.

How much do you love me? = I did something you’re really not going to like.

Is my ass fat? = Tell me I’m beautiful.

You have to learn to communicate. = Just agree with me.

Was that the baby? = Go check on the baby, I’ll sleep some more.

 

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